15 Reasons Why You Should Never Own English Mastiffs

Introducing another threatening species: English Mastiffs. We think English Mastiffs may very well be on top of the worst dog breed of all time.

We are warning you, do NOT let their sad face manipulate you into adopting them.

Finally, we have decided to list 15 reasons why you should never own such manipulative creatures.

#1 Firstly, English Mastiffs are pretty much the criminal ringleaders of the dog world.

#2 They can often be spotted in scary gangs…

#3 They are very bad around children.

#4 Wait, did we mention how completely not cute the puppies are?

#5 They’re just horrible, right?

#6 Not only will they fail to protect you, they’ll also actively steal your food!

#7 Did we mention that they’re practically narcoleptic?

#8 They’re a huge problem because they steal everything: your socks, your whole heart, etc.

#9 Sometimes they’re so independent it’s scary.

#10 They’re always sticking out their tongues, especially when they’re out in public.

#11 And just look how menacing they are when they’re sleeping.

#12 And they know what look to give you when they want something from you.

#13 They’re bed hogs.

#14 We warn you once again: You should NOT get an English Mastiff.

#15 Don’t get an English Mastiff if you want a faithful friend, who will be by your side when you’re sad, and that will make you happy every day of your life.